Jay Leno: My first guest stars in "The X-Files" which airs on FOX Sunday nights at 9:00. Also starring in a new movie, "Playing God." Premiers October 17. If you liked "Pulp Fiction" and those kind of films, man, this is really great. David Duchovny.

JL: Thanks for coming.

David Duchovny: Thanks for having me.

JL: Now, I know it's hard for you to get away. You're up there in Vancouver.

DD: Yeah, well, this show is so demanding on -- you know, we have just two actors, not like those shows like ER where their just --

JL: Yeah.

DD: What do they have, 150 people?

JL: 150 actors on stage.

DD: And so, so in order for me to get away, they have to hurt me, basically --

JL: What do you mean?

DD: Well, in the show they have to give me some kind of disease of malady. Like depending on how long they need me to have off. Life for a day, it's like a migrain or something, put you in the hospital. For three days, you know, come to LA and do the show, pistol-whipped or slapped around. And then, like I have to promote the "Playing God" movie, and I also need a week off, so basically, that's like a major head wound or possible abduction by aliens, which is a good option on our show.

JL: Always good. Always good.

[Laughter from the audience.]

DD: Yeah.

[Laughter]

JL: You said you brought some -- this is an X-Files clip? I know we have a clip from the movie. What is this?

DD: Well, I just want -- it's been a while since there was an original X-Files show on. We've been on reruns for awhile. And I want people to remember just how scary the show really is. So I think this clip is pretty self-explanatory in terms of scare factor.

JL: All right.

DD: Just run it and watch people running for the exit.

[clip]

JL: Thank you very much. Well, that was very lovely.

DD: That, by the way, is the Canadian edition of "TV Guide." So, Jay, not only a star in America [stops].

[Laughter from the audience]

JL: In a foreign country as well. Now, of course, you've got married since you were last here.

DD: Yes, I did.

JL: And I thought I played --

DD: You played a huge role.

JL: A major role in bring you --

DD: Unbeknownst to you, you did. I mean, what people don't realize is, there used to be, I don't think there is anymore, a barbaric custom of getting on "The Tonight Show," before you were a big star. If you've done some work, but you weren't a big star yet and they thought maybe we'd like to have them sit here and talk to Jay. Well, they'd invite you to lunch and see if you were charming or funny or something. And to even make it even more barbaric, they wouldn't invite you out alone. They'd invite you out with somebody else.

JL: Some other boring person, right?

DD: Well no, I was the boring person in this case. So what they did, it's like 1992, and I've done a movie called "Kalifornia" and Téa was doing a show called "Flying Blind." And they barbarically invited us both out to lunch. And Téa proceeded in her way to charm and be outgoing. And I proceeded on my way to not be charming and extremely ingoing and --

JL: Ingoing? Now you went to, where was it? Princeton?

[Laughter]

DD: Yeah, but that was a very long time ago.

JL: I'm very ingoing.

DD: It's what they call creative use of the English language.

JL: Yes, yes.

DD: So it was that kind of vocabulary that really charmed your people.

JL: Right.

DD: So I actually, I have the notes from that meeting.

JL: These are the notes?

DD: These are the actual notes that your people wrote up.

JL: That Tracy too?

DD: Yeah, Tracey, took. Well, yeah. It says, "Tea Leoni is a lovely raconteur and a consummate storyteller and a fine actress. David Duchovny is a morose looser.

[Laughter]

Boy, here's another. "Book Téa Leoni as soon as possible on the show. Book David Duchovny a buss ticket back to New York City."

[Laughter]

JL: But see, actually, it was just a bad episode of "The Dating Game." Could that not have happened to you, you would not have met the love of your life. Did that happen that day? Were you transfixed by this beautiful woman?

DD: Uh, yeah.

[Laughter]

I was, I listened to her. She was actually married at the time, so that kinda of --

[Pause. Laughter from the audience]

There's a word called ingoing, and there's a thing called divorce.

JL: But she got -- so, obviously you were a gentleman and you waited.

DD: Oh I waited, I waited. No, after that lunch, I would have waited for a long, long time. And then, actually five years later, she has the same agent as I do. And I called my agent, and Téa happened to be in the room with my agent, and she said, "Oh, you'll never guess, Téa Leoni is here." And I said, "Is she still talking?" And Téa said, "Oh, I'm sure he hates me." And then we just started talking and fell in love and got married pretty quickly.

JL: This is pretty interesting. How long was this courtship?

DD: If you count back to 1992.

JL: No, no. You don't count that. you don't count the lunch with the loser. Forget that.

[Laughter]

DD: I told my mom. You know, in 1992, I met her.

JL: No, no, no, when you started --

DD: Very quick. It was, you know, four months.

JL: Four months?

DD: 3 months. You know?

[Laughter]

I like to think of it as 93 days basically.

JL: So, okay, you go on the date --

DD: It's over two thousand hours.

JL: How soon after you -- when you picked her up to go to the Sizzler that night, that first night -- how soon after did you know?

DD: You know me so well.

JL: How soon after would you say, "Well this is it. What am I going to do?"

DD: It's about two weeks that I realized that she was just someone I could spend the rest of my life with.

JL: Was that mutual right away? Or did she needed a little bit more coaxing?

DD: Probably not. No, it was. It was. It just felt being smacked over the head with a -- with a bad review from "The Tonight Show" staff. It sure felt like it.

JL: You don't hold a grudge, and I think that's important.

DD: You know, you've got to forgive in this business.

JL: That's what I say, that's what I say. Plus had that not have happened --

DD: You know, I did win an Emmy. Did I mention that?

JL: No, I know. Believe me, we all know that. Now let me ask you --

[Laughter]

Now, you told me you had something -- there's a thing called ingoing and out -- when you --

DD: I think I'm about to outoing.

JL: Now what was this about her alarm you were telling me? What was that?

DD: Oh, yeah. Well, when we first started dating, I came to stay in LA, and I didn't have a place, because we shoot the show in Vancouver. And she had told me the code for her alarm system and I'd forgotten it, and also I didn't know it would go as soon as I open the door. So I go in there and this alarm started going off, and I think, I'm about to be shot on sight by somebody. And the phone rang which is what happened. It's odd, the alarm people call you, and say, "Are you robbing the house?" I don't know what. I don't know what you're supposed to do if you're actually up to no good.

[Pantomines]

[Laughter]

So what happened was he said, "Sir, what are you doing there?" And I said, "Well, actually, I'm supposed to be here. I just forgotten the code." He said, "Do you know the code, sir?" And I said, "Is it black bird?" And he said, "I can't let you guess, sir?" And I said, "Okay, it's black bird." He said, "That's correct." So it was kinda like --

JL: It's like Alex Trebek or something.

DD: It's like Jeopardy. You have to give the code. You cannot give the code in a question form. You have to give the code in a statement form. So, I gave the code in a statement form. But they still sent the guy in, you know. And by the way, black bird's not really the code. and so, he comes out and his calling, and he's telling his boss, "This guy seems to be okay." And he's looking at me -- and he's talking to the guy. "Yeah, everything's --" And I just went, "FBI."

[Laughter]

So, and then -- and then of course, he goes, which is really funny doing the show for five years, he goes, "Detective Mulder." You know? And it's funny, because I'm Special Agent Mulder. But, they call me anything. I'm Detective Mulder. I'm Captain Mulder. I'm lance Corporal Sargeant Mulder. I'm Doctor Mulder. Anything but Special Agent Mulder.

JL: Well, let me ask you about his new movie. You know, I really like this new movie a lot, by the way.

DD: Thank you.

JL: This "Playing God." I thought it was a real a smart -- because I'm glad like this is your first big movie since being a star. And I'm glad that you didn't do "Volcano 3" or something.

DD: Well, I didn't get the offer.

JL: This is a very -- very clever, tight, well-written part. Do you want to tell people what it's about?

DD: Well, it's about a surgeon who's lost his license, because of a drug problem, and actually lost the patient. And who has kind of floating aimlessly through life after that. And hooks up with a mobster played by Timothy Hutton. And becomes kind of his personal doctor. So, he's like that peripheral character in movies, you know, the wino doctor that you used to see the mob guys go to and there would be just a 2 minute scene. And instead, this is the whole movie about his guy.

JL: Yeah, but it's great, because you don't know who to root for in this movie. This is what I like about it. It's not clear cut.

DD: Yeah, yeah.

JL: And very funny character actors surround you. It's a great, great job. Let's take a look from "Playing God." Does this need any set up here?

DD: Well, Angelina Jolie, who is the love interest in the movie, she's been shot and we're hooked up with some bikers here, and I'm doing an impromtu operation over a pool table in a -- in a bar.

[Clip from "Playing God"]

JL: Folks, the movie is terrific. It opens October 17th. David, thank you.

The Tonight Show October 3, 1997.
Transcribed by someone at the David Duchovny Testosterone Brigade.