JIM RYAN- Alright, here now, Robyn Carter, with an x-rated interview.
ROBYN CARTER (RC)- Well...I don't know..well it is x-rated. We've got David Duchovny in the house. You know we all know him from the X-Files, but when he went to Hollywood, uh, after deciding to drop...you dropped out of Yale right?
DD- Well, uh... (small chuckle)
RC- You, uh, left, uh...
DD- Well, I didn't know it'd be that kind of interview already. (RC and background people laughs) But uh...
RC- You left the Ivy-League world, goes to Hollywood, starts out in movies. You know he became a superstar in the X-Files and now he's back on the big screen in the new romantic comedy, "Return to Me," costarring Minnie Driver, David Alan Grier, lots of other people.
DD- Big ensemble cast.
RC-...Also a tearjerker.
DD- It is.
RC- I was crying at the end.
DD- It's a funny tearjerker if you can imagine that. Can I have some water underneath me right now? (NOTE: Before the interview started, they made the set look like as they they ewre at the beach with the waves)
RC- We want you to feel biblical. Here it comes.
DD- Can I just have my head floating on the water? (RC laughs) Like a...
RC- There it goes. (Waves appear underneath DD's shoulders) There. Anything you want. You have done a lot for the FOX Network.
DD- Thank you.
RC- So you can have anything you want.
DD- You can see me jogging on the water. (using his fingers to imitate the jogging)
(Water disappears)
RC- You have said that this guy, who's really, I mean, I don't want to give the story away. I really don't...
DD- I agree.
RC- I think it's better not to know too much.
DD- Okay.
RC- But, umm, this guy...
DD- Your wisdom that goes against the wisdom... (RC and DD talking at once, can't make out what they're saying)
RC- Alright, you want me to tell what happens?
DD- No, you don't have to.
RC- He's married and he's really in love with his wife...
DD- Yes.
RC-...and there's a tragedy and then he hook up with Minnie Driver.
DD- Right.
RC- Now this guy's really romantic...
DD- Yeah
RC- ...and emotional...
DD- Yeah
RC- ...and you say you have more in common with him than Mulder.
DD- Well, not so much as more in common, but, but, uh, you know, an actor just takes parts to express certain parts of himself and when you're on a part in a, in a, TV show for the last seven years, then people tend to associate just that one motion of expression with you.
RC- So, we want to know if you're really as romantic as this guy.
DD- Well, I don't think anybody is. (RC laughs) It's a really romantic old-fashion film, so like most films, it's an idealized version of reality, but uh...
RC- So Tea wouldn't say you're romantic.
DD- Well, Tea, actually said, you know, I want that guy (RC laughs) I don't want you anymore (RC and DD laughs). It's actually been a very bad idea for me to take this movie...
RC- (still laughing) Oh really?
DD- ...at my life at home.
RC- She's like, why don't you treat me like...
DD- Well, she calls me Bob now. (RC and background people laugh) You know, where's Bob? And, uh, that's not even the name of the character in the movie (RC and background people laughs even more)
RC-(jokingly) Now, we're, uh, what's going on in this marriage?
DD-(while taking a sip of his water, mumbles "I dunno")
RC- She is delightful.
DD- Get me back to the beach. (RC laughs)
RC- Alright, Jerry Seinfeld is having a baby, you know.
DD- I don't know.
RC- Well, alright. Wait, you don't read the paper?
DD- Well, he didn't tell me.
RC- He didn't?
DD- No, I don't uh...
RC- Well, Jerry Seinfeld's wife is pregnant.
DD- Excellent.
RC- This just in.
DD- Very nice.
RC- And you're a father of a one year old girl, right?
DD- Yes, well almost one.
RC- Any advice for Jerry?
DD- No. (DD and RC laughs)
RC- Has this been the best experience of your life or has it been a tough adjustment?
DD- Oh, no, it's been great.
RC- Yeah.
DD- It's been great. I just have no experience for Jerry (RC laughs). I mean, advice for Jerry.
RC- Alright, we gotta show a clip real quick of "Return to Me." We don't have to, but we want you to see it.
DD- Yes.
RC- This is a scene with you and David Alan Grier, who plays one of your best buddy.
DD- One of the funniest men in America.
RC- Ok, let's roll it.
(Shows scene where DD shouts out "Sammy Sosa!" to the kids, except the clip shows more than the one in the commercials)
RC- That's a very cute clip.
DD- And, and, I look as much as Sammy Sosa as David Alan Grier (RC laughs). Kids will believe anything.
RC- We don't have a lot of time left..
DD- No?
RC- You have finally said, unfortunately, for a lot fo the fans, that you are not coming back to the X-Files for an 8th season.
DD- No, that's not true.
RC- you have not...you were quoted in USA Today...
DD- I've said many things.
RC- Alright, here's the quote from USA Today: "David Duchovny says he is unwilling to return to the show for an 8th season"...
DD- (Interrupts RC while continuing to read the quote) Unwilling
RC- What does that mean?
DD- Will has to do with uh, you know, free will (RC and background people laughs a little). Goes back and forth.
RC- Alright, David, let me ask you this.
DD- Yeah
RC- If they offer you $23 million like they did with Julianna Margulies...
DD- You sound like one of my relatives now.
RC- (accentuates the NY accent even more)- David let me talk to you, ok, baby? (crew laughs)
DD- (lisping) I'm gonna offer you some money, so, open your ears (RC laughs). (Normal voice) Well, I look around this studio and all I see is "Beverly Hills 90210" posters. (RC laughs)
RC- Oh come on..Are you saying, I want to know what it's gonna take for you to go back to the X-Files.
(NOTE: At this point, DD is facing towards someone behind the cameras and makes small talk with him/her. Doesn't sound as bad as I typed it)
DD-...It's like living in the past. (JIM RYAN(?) laughs)
RC- (taps DD's hand to get his attention) Come on. Answer me.
DD- (faces back to RC) What?
RC- What would it take for you to sign...
DD- I have my terms. I made them clear with FOX. It's, uh, up to them now. I have terms under which I would come back.
RC- So, alright. There, the door, that's still open.
DD- I'm unwilling, but uh, willing at the same time.
RC- Don't you love this..I mean..(shouts to the camera) Mike Wolk!!(sp?). Listen, this is what I'm saying on my next contract. (Everybody laughs) I'm willing and unwilling, and David Duchovny said I should...
DD- ...gonna tie you to my contract right now...
RC- Alright, we gotta go. There's screaming in my ears.
DD-...p-head(?) clause (RC laughs)
RC- Alright back to you guys. Thank you David.
DD- You're welcome.
