**Note: The "Z Morning Crew" consists of 4 or so people, and it was pretty hard to tell who said what sometimes, so ZMC usually means one person from the show talking {unless otherwise specified}. I tried to put everything in, so if I missed something, sorry! But I'm pretty sure I got everything... One other thing, the (?) symbol means I don't know how to spell the word(s) in front of it OR I couldn't make out what the person said, so bare with me!

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{one version of the X-files theme faintly playing in the background}

{Zed} morning crew : It's the Z Morning crew at 7:08 ; welcomes back to the show, A longtime favorite of ours, a former resident of Vancouver, it's...it's that Duchovny guy! What's...what's his name?
DD: the answer's(?) David. [all laughing]

ZMC: Hi David! {all at once}
DD: Well, it's nice to get a laugh just by saying my name.

ZMC: [laugh] Yeeaah... it just tickled pink. Let it be known just off the back: We miss you here!
DD: I miss Vancouver. How is it up there?

ZMC: Well, it's lovely- but you know, there is a void - no X-Files shooting all over town. And quite frankly David, We miss stories from people who just wanted to call up and talk about your big, long, disgustingly large COFFEE habit at Starbucks! [laughing]
DD: I only went to the same Starbucks everyday, the same one! It's the one on, uh, the one on Point Grey road.

ZMC: Yeah, right across from Malone's(?), right there on Cornwall, right across from Kits Beach -
DD: You got it. That's the one. I need that afternoon pick-me-up.

ZMC: Do you need one right now, or are you going to be okay?
DD: I just got one!

ZMC: Oh good, okay! Alright! [laughing] We wanted to talk to you about a couple things. Of course, the movie, Return to Me. Can we just say congratulations! {Other DJs : "Oh, yeah, awesome" [clapping]} Finally, a chance to ditch that trenchcoat and tie, stick on the V-neck sweaters and the Polo shirts, huh?
DD: [laughing] Ahh, it felt good.

ZMC: We had, uh, the Z premire a couple weeks back and uh, don't mind telling you one bit: 'thought that it was very charming, it truly was.
DD: Did you weep like a baby?

ZMC: That's what he's trying to tell you, ever so coyly. {another guy}
DD: He can't quite admit it, can he?

ZMC: Uh, you know what? I will admit it. There's a couple of really powerful scenes in there, including the one where you come home from the hospital devastated.
DD: Yeah.

ZMC: And you and your dog Mel.
DD: I think it's a great movie. It's got a lot of tears and a lot of laughs.

ZMC: That scene though, totally, it was very, very heartwrenching, um, like, I'm trying to think afterwards how you conjered that up.
DD: Yhea, well those are like the tricks of the trade, you know? I mean that's what makes it a fun job and why you'd never want to tell anybody exactly what you were working-

ZMC: You didn't have an onion in your hand, did ya?
DD: Uh, well, possibly, O-or a pin in my thigh or something.

ZMC: Sheez, No it was really good. And we were wondering how many takes you had to do on that. {another guy: Yeah, gaphers(?), walkie-talkie goin' off in the background, and there you are - "Oh wait! No, we need that again!"}
DD: You've had- you've had some experience on sets...

ZMC: No. {another guy: Oh yeah}
DD: I think we just did two. I mean, for me the way I work, it's really, I either get it or I don't - on like, the first couple, so, um, 'cause then you're just trying to, like, re-created what you've already done, and I feel like an idiot when I'm doing that. So I think we did two. It's the first movie I've done in a while that I -that I really think works, and it's just really... I don't know! I-It's just great to be in a really good film, as stupid as that sounds...

ZMC: Well, here's to being in a film that works!
DD: Well, I appreciate that- and you know what? I'm going to say this this now. If we ever do another X-File movie, you know where I want to shoot it?

ZMC: LA?
Everyone : Noo!

ZMC: Vancouver!?
DD: COMIN' HOME!

ZMC: Yeah [clapping]. Actually, I've heard you, uh, have been talkin' about that. That you might come up here to shoot that.
DD: I was - Well, there's no plans actually to shoot that movie - But I would love to get the old crew together and to spend three months up there. That'd be beautiful.

ZMC: Well, you know David, we'd like to bring a little piece of Vancouver back to you. We've got the Z morning crew's version of "This is your life" comin' up in-in just a l-little bit of a second. You just wanna hang on for just a moment?
DD: Yeah, what it's that exactly?

ZMC: We'll explain that to you- this is where you have to wait.
DD: [laughing] Alright, go ahead. [Commercial] {faint spooky music in background}

ZMC: ... Guest Appearance - David Duchovny! {another guy :Yah!} Hangin' out on the Z lines, we hope you are - are you still there?
DD: Yeah, I'm here.

ZMC: You know, we thought, uh, we would bring back some fond memories you had while you were in Vancouver.
DD: Okay.

ZMC: It was, uh, 5 great years wasn't it?
DD: Yes.

ZMC: Yhea, it's a long time. Uh, Well, what we would like to do this morning is welcome you to the show with our own Z morning crew version of : "This is your Life" (all together)
DD: [chuckling]

ZMC: David, do you remember in the 5th season of the X-Files - you're in the GVRD shooting an episode called: "Detour"?
DD: Yes.

ZMC: Do you? [in surprised tone]
DD: Yes! [sounding surprised himself]

ZMC: In that episode there was a Florida state trooper, the lead (?) you knew as the character, Officer -
DD: Yes!

ZMC: Fezeekus(?)
DD: Yes!!

ZMC: When you walk forward, it looks like he takes a good look at your butt- do you remember that awkward screen moment?
DD: Not specifically, but I remember the episode!... [laughing]

ZMC: Well, that same trooper is actually working for us now... he's Nick, THE GUY! (together), and he's in here with us.
Nick: Good Morning David!
DD: Why'd you look at my ass like that? [jokingly] [laughing]
Nick: Well, I didn't! It just ended up LOOKING like I looked at your ass!
DD: So you were just kinda lookin' down, and it happened to be- my ass was in the area?
Nick: Yeah, it just happend to be that way.
DD: Are you saying I got a big ass?
Nick: No! Not at all. I-I was, you know, trying to learn... I went throught the, uh, the school of ass-acting and I was just trying to, uh, learn from that- [everyone laughing]

ZMC: It's like joey from friends - "Smell the ass-acting"-
Nick: Exactly.
DD: That's still ass-ler (?)
Nick: [laughing]

ZMC: Do you want to go on, or can you shut those taps off from your eyes for just a second?
DD: [still laughing] O-Oh, okay, okay.

ZMC: Okay. Now how 'bout that famous episode - 5x18, called, "The Pine Bluff Variant"?
DD: Oh yeah.

ZMC: Where there was this amazing shot of you when you said, "If you touch me again, you'll have to kill me", and then the skinhead proceeded to break your left little finger.
DD: You got the skinhead there?

ZMC: No.[laughing] No- we've done better than that! With our massive research department we have tracked down... The guy whose finger really was broken instead of yours! It's your hand double, Glen Barwise! (?)
Glen: Hey David.
DD: Hey Glen, how are ya?
Glen: Not too bad, i'm not sure you actually remember me- but, uh-
DD: How's the hand?
Glen: Uh, it's recovering, it's recovering... [happy tone]
DD: That guy would go a bit overboard wouldn't he?
Glen: [chuckle] Yeah, well, 18 takes of that in second unit was a little rough - I actually needed that bandage for the next two episodes that they had you wearing, and me too.
DD: [laugh] Well, god, just all the memories are floodin' back.

ZMC: Welll come back and make that movie, would ya?!
DD: Is that it? that's all-

ZMC: [laughing] Okay, we did a LITTLE bit of research, okay?
DD: That's it?

ZMC: Yeah, we didn't do a lot- we said we did a little bit...
DD: ...5x18, I loved that! [everyone laughing] that was really cool.

ZMC: {voices overlapping} Ahh! DAVID Duchovny! [clapping] Return to Me in theaters now, it's a great film. Thank you for joining us. Go see it it's really sweet. Give our best to your lovely wife Tea and to your family, okay? Yeah, Happy anniversary!
DD: My best to the fair city of Vancouver, my love, and I miss you all.

ZMC: Hey! It's 7:26 with the Z morning crew...

Transcribed by Andrea